Sunday 15th October, 2006

It was Aidan's 5th birthday party yesterday. One of the main reasons I did not have my op sooner. I wanted to get that out of the way first. I was annoyed because out of the 17 people who were invited, only 6 turned up. I was not impressed. That said, the house was much quieter than I had anticipated it would be and the kids had a lovely time. I just want to seeth at the parents who neither bothered to call me or rsvp to the invitation. They did not have to see my son's face when the party was due to begin and NOT ONE child was here. It's a disgrace. The others turned up late, but all in all, it was ok. Aidan enjoyed himself and that was the main thing.

So... I went to work last night. It started with a crappy moment where I was surplus to requirements and not sure if I was going to get moved to another ward at any given moment. I didn't get moved however and it was a good night on the whole. I had one of those crappy moments when ( and it's not the first time either.. naturally) a patient told me that I was 'cuddly'. Grrr... I usually want the ground to open up and eat me, especially when I am given this description in front of others. What is it about patients like that who think they are the first person to ever notice that you are fat, and that you need to be told ????? How dare they ? But last night, I reacted differently by saying ' No really... well, who would have guessed ' and then walked away thinking ' not for much longer !! You wait !

My lovely friends on WLSinfo forum have been so supportive toward me in the time building up to this op. That website really is the most wonderful place to visit when you need a pep talk. I am looking forward to being able to change my details to read 'post op' and join the post op gang, the loosers !!

I got talking to Alan the other night after I wrote my blog. He was really great, sitting and listening to me and allowing me to blather on and on. I said that leaving him at the airport is going to be so hard, and he told me that he needed me to be strong, get out of the car, get my case, kiss him goodbye and turn around and go. I looked up at him and he was near in tears, and he said that it is going to be hard for him to drive home because he won't settle until he hears my voice post op. It will be plain sailing from then. I love this man of mine so much..... I knew this op was affecting him but he was just covering his own emotions about it because he did not want to influence my decision. We got talking about clothes after that and I said that at the moment there is no clothing shop in Larne that sells clothes that fit my size, so I am not used to clothes shopping in normal clothes shops. I said that I had no idea how to dress myself in skinny clothes, as I would always see a fat person looking back at me in the mirror. He said to trust him, and he would dress me ! I can't wait for that !

Right... I am falling asleep typing this. I am sooooo tired... need a kip