Friday 27th October 2006

Fairly unsettled night. Sore, but no point asking the heartless cow of a night nurse for anything. I was up from 2 -4am, reading and listening to music. I went back over to sleep again until about 7am. Watched the sun rise over the city. Again, it was so pretty. I saw the air ambulance take off too.
The brought me water this morning !!! Heaps better than that evian spray that I have been squirting in my mouth. Water !!! Yay.. sips at first, and it was ok.
Ellen was late today, but I was hoping she had a better night with her tooth and that she was having a lie in. Turned out she was out on the lash last night and now suffering for it !! She had a dodgy chinese too which had her chucking up too.
I shuddered when I saw the morning staff today. This blonde nurse - middle aged lady, is a bit cack handed to say the least. She came to take my drain half out. Yikes.
I didn't think much of their aseptic technique ! She set out her sterile field, and was in the process of putting her dressings and things on to it. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue, blew her nose on it, shoved it back in her pocket, and without even washing her hands, carried on doing the dressing. Holy hell. I know I should have perhaps said something, but I didn't want to piss her off incase she hurt me when she pulled the drain out. Turned out I should have said something, because she hurt me anyway. She was a bit rough and she pulled the drain so hard I cried. She put a big dressing pad over it and left it til later for the rest of it to come out. It felt much easier instantly. She took my drip down which was not before time either. It was starting to get sore and was awkward too.
I went to the bathroom and washed my hair in the sink in there. Not easy, but very necessary. If felt so good to feel clean again. I sat out and did my hairs and my make up. Then I watched a film to pass the time til Ellen came.
When she arrived, I said I fancied a stroll down to the front door and back.I knew I needed to visit the cashpoint to get money for Marc to give to the taxi lady to take us to the airport, and I thought I might get a sneeky fag in there too !! It really was my limit though, walking to the door and back. I was done when I got back to the ward, but I also felt quite triumphant !! I got pain killers when I got back. Now the drip was away, I had to try the fizzy paracetamol. Boy was that sore to get down me, but I just took it slowly and sipped away at it. It went down eventually.
The charge nurse came in to see me this morning when I was just out of the bathroom. He asked how I was doing and I said I was fine. He said that I did not look happy and was everything ok. I just lifted Al's photo and said 'I miss him' - he understood and left, like men do when they see a girls eyes welling up !!
I had a small pot of yoghurt or custard offered to me this evening. I look the custard. I took it really slowly, really gently, and it was ok. I ate about 3/4 of the pot and that was all I could dare to eat. I didn't get a full feeling, but I did get a feeling that I should stop there, so I did.
Dr Dillemans JHO came to see me and confirmed that I could go home tomorrow which is great ! I have packed already !! lol. Tomorrow is saturday and then I only have 2 more days and then I am home. I so want to hold Al - I miss him so much. I have missed the kids too, don't get me wrong, but they have been fine. They have had Frances fussing all over them, and Al has been looking after them. Al though, he has had to cope with the prospect that I might not have come back alive. He had to cope with a whole week without me, without any kisses, any cuddles, any reassuring hugs from me. BUT, now I am post op- I am feeling good and I am on my way home now !! Gettng back to the hotel tomorrow will be so good. The worst is behind me now. It can only get better from here.
I can't wait to see Al and feel his arms around me again. I know that I have just done the bravest thing in my whole life. Things are going to be superb for us now sweetheart. I am going to loose this weight and I am going to be slim and beautiful. This week has been scarey but it's nearly over now. I won !!! Show me the scales !! Bring it on !!