I had a very very long conversation with Tracy last night, a fellow member of the WLS info forum, who had her plastic surgery on TV onthe Extreme make over programme. Her surgery was done at the McIndoe Centre and I was really grateful for her insight into plastic surgery. I hope she did not feel like I had picked her brains out !! It was a great conversation and seems we have loads in common too. She's a star and I really hope to meet her when I go to have my surgery, if she comes to visit. I really hope you do Tracy - if you are reading this :)
So, I have to add a sports bra, and magic knickers to my shopping list for October time. I will need these for a little while post op to keep me in shape. I cannot fathom what it must feel like to feel down and not feel a flap of skin there. Tracy said that she felt her tummy and boobs and wondered who they belonged to ! I can imagine it's going to be wierd ! Boobs facing straight ahead ! WOW !
I am so annoyed at myself for not making a note of what I wanted to blog today. It was on my mind yesterday, and now it's gone. WHAT was it ?! It was how I was feeling about something...
Ugh... I will let you know if and when I remember !
I tried on some clothes that have been sitting in my wardrobe that were too small for me a fortnight, and this morning they fit me !! I had a pair of hipsters which obviously I didn't realise were hipsters at the time of purchase, which were laughing at me saying ' fit round you.. I don't think so ' every time I opened my wardrobe. Now they go round me... well, around my flap !... but they are Hideous - with a capital H. My midrif just sticks out over the top and because it's just floppy skin there is nothing I can do about it ! What a lovely image I have given you dear readers ! Give me 4 months guys and I will be able to pull jeans of any shape on without having to fold my flap into them ! I am so looking forward to being able to put a bra on without having to manipulate myself into it. My boobs are just plain depressing. No two ways about it.
The kids finished school this morning, and are now off until September. In a way I am looking forward to having them about and enjoying the summer together, but in another way, and any parent will understand where I am coming from here, I will miss my peace and quiet ! It's nice to get them off to school and be able to come home with Michael and have a quiet morning, or go shopping with him, just him and me, and not have 2 other kids wanting and needing and asking for stuff all the time. It's going to feel wierd this time next year though, when Michael is about to start nursery in September ! He's just a baby ! How can he be starting school in a year? Rachel was all pleased with herself today because she got Pupil of the month awarded to her today. It's a great boot to her self esteem for the summer holidays. She was really pleased with herself, and quite rightly so. She's come on well this year. Now I have just a week to pack for Centre Parcs and I can tell you, I can't wait ! It might rain all week, but I don't care. We will be away and spending lots of time together, relaxing and enjoying being a family. Hope Frances behaves herself ! There are advantages and disadvantages to taking your mother in law on holiday with you... advantage is you have a built in babysitter, disadvantages are, you have to watch your p's and q's ! Anyway.... we are all looking forward to it and we are going to have a good time.
Going back to this looming operation of mine.... I am beginning to let it dawn on me that I am going away again. It's so crap for Alan to be away from me and visa versa. It would be so lovely if he could even fly over for the day to see me. Wonder what the air fare is. Frances could cope with the kids for one day. I just know I will be missing him so much, and I want him to be a part of my transformation, so seeing me in the McIndoe would be really good. Perhaps not though.. perhaps being there when I get back on the monday will be better because I will have had some time to recover a little. Ugh... I dunno. We need to talk about it a bit, see what is right to do.
OK.. I still cannot remember what I wanted to blog about, and I have run out of stuff for now. If I remember, I will put in another entry for today !
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday 26th June, 2007
What an exciting week it's been !
I had a phone call from the plastic surgeon's secretary last week and she was all but pencilling me in for my tummy tuck on October 4th. When I mentioned my boobs being done at the same time though she had to rub that out as I needed a longer theatre slot for boobs as well. She asked what I was having done to my boobs and as we had not talked about them at my consultation in March, I didn't know. So she asked me to see him at the weekend for a consultation and get things sorted. I saw him on Sunday just gone for a consultation and I was right to leave my dignity at home that day ! I was given a little cape thing, and told to remove my top. He measured me from the neck to the nipple on both sides and then told me that they should be at 21cm but mine were at 30cm ! 9cm droopy ! Then he went on to mold my right breast like a lump of play dough into a perky uplifted number ! Al and I had talked extensively about breast surgery, and we'd decided that due to the weight loss from the top part of my breast, I'd need an implant. I felt I would probably need both an uplift and an implant, and since the implant needed a cut under the breast anyway, having an uplift at the same time would be no big deal. All I want at the end of the day is a chest that I can look down at and be happy with. It was important to me that Al was there for the consultation because this is all part of my sexuality and he is the one that that matters the most to me. If he doesn't like my plastic surgery or is not happy with what I am left with post op then it would be bad ! He was happy as I was with the decision that I should have an uplift and implants, although the implants cannot be chosen until I get there in October because I am still losing weight and likely to be a dress size or so less by then. ( Here's hoping !).
We talked about types of implant, and he is using a silicone round implant for me, with a lifetime guarantee which means I won't have to go back to theatre to get it replaced in the future which was a concern for me. He poked my tum about a bit too, and confirmed that I would have a water melon type tummy tuck with a bit of lipo at the sides to help prevent any dog ear bits at the side. I was really enthused coming away from the appointment.
I phoned the secretary back on monday and she gave me a tentative date of 25th October ( how ironic that this was the date since it would be my 1 year opiversary!). Then she phoned me again on tuesday and confirmed November 1st for the surgery. It is no longer pencilled in either. It's inked in ! The PCT have approved funding and we are good to go. YIKES !
It was a close thing apparently because back in March I did not meet the criteria ( and in theroy I still don't !) but since I saw him again at the weekend, they can take my consultation date as that date and operate within the next 6 months. That is how we got November 1st. I wondered if I had not been paying for boobs at the same time privately if he would have been as keen to keep me on the list. I would hope so, but either way, it's ok !! I am on the list and I am going to be 'done' on November 1st. Al has booked annual leave and now all I need to do is find a travelling companion. Ellen is away, and Kathryn can't come cos it's her daughters birthday. I have asked Lorraine so we will see if the new date suits her and she can make it. Mum and Dad will be coming up to see me probably too.
I know it's going to be hard on Alan and the kids, my being away again, but this is the last time. I don't intend to have any more surgery !! Being away from them near killed me before, but this is a shorter time away thank god, so I will survive and so will they. Al seems quite excited about the surgery for me. Don't know if this is the thought of my new jubblies or being pleased for me to be having the body I have always wanted. Probably a mix of the two !!
I had a phone call from the plastic surgeon's secretary last week and she was all but pencilling me in for my tummy tuck on October 4th. When I mentioned my boobs being done at the same time though she had to rub that out as I needed a longer theatre slot for boobs as well. She asked what I was having done to my boobs and as we had not talked about them at my consultation in March, I didn't know. So she asked me to see him at the weekend for a consultation and get things sorted. I saw him on Sunday just gone for a consultation and I was right to leave my dignity at home that day ! I was given a little cape thing, and told to remove my top. He measured me from the neck to the nipple on both sides and then told me that they should be at 21cm but mine were at 30cm ! 9cm droopy ! Then he went on to mold my right breast like a lump of play dough into a perky uplifted number ! Al and I had talked extensively about breast surgery, and we'd decided that due to the weight loss from the top part of my breast, I'd need an implant. I felt I would probably need both an uplift and an implant, and since the implant needed a cut under the breast anyway, having an uplift at the same time would be no big deal. All I want at the end of the day is a chest that I can look down at and be happy with. It was important to me that Al was there for the consultation because this is all part of my sexuality and he is the one that that matters the most to me. If he doesn't like my plastic surgery or is not happy with what I am left with post op then it would be bad ! He was happy as I was with the decision that I should have an uplift and implants, although the implants cannot be chosen until I get there in October because I am still losing weight and likely to be a dress size or so less by then. ( Here's hoping !).
We talked about types of implant, and he is using a silicone round implant for me, with a lifetime guarantee which means I won't have to go back to theatre to get it replaced in the future which was a concern for me. He poked my tum about a bit too, and confirmed that I would have a water melon type tummy tuck with a bit of lipo at the sides to help prevent any dog ear bits at the side. I was really enthused coming away from the appointment.
I phoned the secretary back on monday and she gave me a tentative date of 25th October ( how ironic that this was the date since it would be my 1 year opiversary!). Then she phoned me again on tuesday and confirmed November 1st for the surgery. It is no longer pencilled in either. It's inked in ! The PCT have approved funding and we are good to go. YIKES !
It was a close thing apparently because back in March I did not meet the criteria ( and in theroy I still don't !) but since I saw him again at the weekend, they can take my consultation date as that date and operate within the next 6 months. That is how we got November 1st. I wondered if I had not been paying for boobs at the same time privately if he would have been as keen to keep me on the list. I would hope so, but either way, it's ok !! I am on the list and I am going to be 'done' on November 1st. Al has booked annual leave and now all I need to do is find a travelling companion. Ellen is away, and Kathryn can't come cos it's her daughters birthday. I have asked Lorraine so we will see if the new date suits her and she can make it. Mum and Dad will be coming up to see me probably too.
I know it's going to be hard on Alan and the kids, my being away again, but this is the last time. I don't intend to have any more surgery !! Being away from them near killed me before, but this is a shorter time away thank god, so I will survive and so will they. Al seems quite excited about the surgery for me. Don't know if this is the thought of my new jubblies or being pleased for me to be having the body I have always wanted. Probably a mix of the two !!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Tuesday 19th June 2007
Well, lots has happened since I was last here blogging. My parents are booked for surgery in Brugge on August 3rd, which is exciting and scary all in one. Turns out that Leeds is harder to get to and from than Brugge is ! The cost difference is something else to ! Nearly £10k of a difference between surgery costs alone. Anyway, it's all good. I am happy that they are going to Dr Dillemans and that he will look after them. He is a top bloke and I trust him 100% with them. Of course the risks are high with age and present co morbidities already riding against them, but they are in the best hands and the following weight loss will only serve to make their health a whole heap better. I am hoping Mum's mobility improves and that her back pain goes away. I am hoping that without a tum my Dad's breathing gets a whole heap better too. Funny thing though, I can't imagine either of them being slim !! I guess they have been this way for as long as I can remember so seeing them any other way will be wierd (in a good way !!)
What else... oooh, yes, I had a fab day last Thrusday. Alan and I went to collect our new car. It's an MG TF 160 special edition sports car, 2 seater convertible. It's yummy !! It was in Daventry just south of Birmingham airport, so we asked Frances to look after the kids that day, and Darren came and took us to the city airport where we caught the 7.10am flight to Birmingham. It was the flight I used to take to go back to Leamington all those years ago. Felt a bit wierd to be booking in to that same flight, although fantastic because I was not leaving Alan this time, he was right there beside me ! So.. the moment of truth.... climbing the steps to the plane - easy peasy and not purple by the time I got to the top...... walk down the aisle without my backside touching either set of seats beside me !!! Then I looked at the seat and though... ok.. here goes. Will I fit ?.... YES I DO. Plop.. in I went, into the seat with room to spare !! Then the belt, will I need an extension ?..... NOPE !!! There was lots of slack too ! hee hee !! Last challenge... the table. Will it or won't it... YES IT DOES !!! Oh how happy was I !? I even took a photo !
So then we got to the airport and then a taxi took us to Daventry and the car was sitting there looking great. It's a limited edition, they only made 500 of these beauties, so we were happy with it and the price too ! We did the paperwork, got in and drove off. We were close to Leamington, so we went via my old house to see what it was looking like now. They have built on a brick carport and porch. I am guessing they added a downstairs toilet there too. It was looking nice, but I still don't miss that stair bulkhead !! It was so low you'd bang your head on it every time you came down the stairs ! Then we took a ride over to see Eileen and John. She was absolutely stunned to see me and I was over the moon to see her too ! She said I was looking fantastic and she could not believe who was standing in front of her ! She and John are both looking great too, and it was a real tonic to see them both. We then left and drive through the pouring rain to the port of Holyhead in North Wales. It was not raining so bad in Wales and I got to drive a little way there. We got the HSS fast ferry across to Dublin and even that was a treat for us.... no kids to chase about the boat, to entertain, keep safe, and amused. We wandered about the boat hand in hand, and sat and had a cup of coffee, and then finally cuddled up and fell asleep. It was lovely ! We were home for 9.15pm and we went and checked the kids while Frances drove home in her new Fiesta !
Al has spent the last few days loving that car, and getting it polished and shiney and the attention to detail would scare you ! We ordered a hard top for it which came the day before we got the car. The courier company, parcelforce, got a bit heavy handed with it and managed to break the corner but because it's fibre glass resin, it is not covered on their insurance cover, so we have had to fix it ourselves. We got a fibre glass kit though and it is sorted now, and Darren is going to spray it silver for us so it matches the car in the winter. Al put new tyres on the back yesterday too, and got the front ones balanced, so it's all going well and feeling solid again. He is so happy to have this car and I am so happy that we have one again too. For all the reasons we made to get ride of the 135 that we had before, the main reason we sold it was that I was too fat to drive it. I was unable to get the seat belt around me as well as bring the seat forward so I could reach the peddles, so I was for ever crunching the gears. It was hard on the suspension too because it had been lowered, and was not the most comfortable of rides, and then I was pregnant with Michael, so it became impractical for us in the long run. He never once blamed me though, or accused me of being a fat lardy arsed girl, and that shows what a lovely bloke he is. He never made out that he minded that much, but deep down he must have. I feel so much better now though, that he has another MGTF because puts things right in my mind. I can put the belt around me and move the seat forward, and enjoy the drive as much as him now and WOW, what a car it is !! A flying machine ! A funny thing that I noticed when we were coming home though..... I thought I was sitting on my coat funny or that something was wrinkled under my bum because there was something poking into me. I felt down, and you know what.. it was not a clothing item poking into me at all... it was my coccyx ( tail bone) of my spine !! I had padding there before and it's gone now ! My bum was sore !
This last stone has been mighty difficult to shift. I was 13stone 12 for a fortnight, and then 13 stone 9 for another fortnight, and then 13 st 5 ( so I thought it was shifting again.... pah) then 13 stone 9 again ( WHAT? It went up ?!!!!) and then 13st 5 and then 13 st 3, and today I am 13 st 1lb. Tomorrow is officially my weigh day but I am working tonight, and I find that if I work, I tend to weigh heavier than I would first thing after waking up. I will weigh myself again on Thursday and see what I am, and probably put that weight in for this week. Here's hoping it's 13 stone nothing, or even 12 stone something !! 12stone anything will be incredible ! I need to be 12 stone 10 to be eligible for my plastics, so the sooner I get those few lbs off the better. I would need to be 11 stone by the time I get my plastics in an ideal world. I am guessing that I have 7lbs of skin to have removed, so that will take me to a 'normal' BMI of 25 at 10 stone 7lbs. How wonderful will that be !?! I can't imagine ! My friend Jayne had her tummy tuck this weekend just gone and is home already. I am thrilled for her to have had this, she's been waiting for such a long time poor thing. I can understand totally if she is peeved at me for getting my plastics so relatively soon but it's not like I went out there asking for it to be sooner. They called me !! Even now though, I am not 100% convinced I am going to get my plastics on the NHS without a longer wait, but hey ho, let's keep things crossed that I will get it done by christmas. She only went on Friday I think and had the surgery on saturday and was home on monday. That's fast !! I can cope with a couple of nights away from the kids and Al, as long as it's not 8 days like it was in Brugge. That really emotionally killed me, although the results were worth it !
Rachel and Aidan are about to finish their school year and they have had a good year really. Aidan's teacher has gone off on the sick for the rest of the school year, but his P2 teacher is just back from her sick leave/maternity leave, so she has been teaching the P1's for these last few weeks and getting to know them and will follow them into P2 next september. Whether we will still be living here by then I don't know. The house is still on the market but we cannot find anything else that we love as much as the Ballyhornan house. I really was in love with that place and even though it is still on the website and showing as for sale, I have my doubts it's going to still be there when we finally get any offers on this place. Then I am thinking 'is it worth the hassle of moving?' since the kids are settled and happy and we seem to be managing ok at the moment with the mortgage, and can remortgage next february and get the cost down a bit. I just don't know what to do for the best. Time will tell I guess. Just leave it on the market and see what happens.
Michael just turned 2 last sunday and is a wee angel. We could not have asked for a better baby boy. He's a delight to look after, so laid back and happy ! I cannot believe that this time next year I will be getting him ready to go to nursery school !! Where is my baby !? He's not a baby any more ! lol ! When he goes to school, I will not know what to do with my time ! I will have a peaceful house and no kiddies under my feet, so I will be able to go and visit and do the shopping without any prams or nappies ! It is going to feel wierd. I hope I adjust ok. It's not like I want any more babies anyway, but I am just so used to there always being one here when the others are at school ! It might be very liberating !
This blog is getting long, but I wanted to fill you in on how things were going on in my life. I am a busy chick really ! I am working on 6C at the Royal Victoria Hospital which is an upper GI surgery ward. I really like being in the same place all the time and being a member of the team. It's very educational for me too because surgery is not really my thing, but I am loving this. Surgical patients are far more independent than medical ones !! lol
That's enough typing for now. I will try and post a blog again soon... but don't hold your breath, you should know me by now !!
What else... oooh, yes, I had a fab day last Thrusday. Alan and I went to collect our new car. It's an MG TF 160 special edition sports car, 2 seater convertible. It's yummy !! It was in Daventry just south of Birmingham airport, so we asked Frances to look after the kids that day, and Darren came and took us to the city airport where we caught the 7.10am flight to Birmingham. It was the flight I used to take to go back to Leamington all those years ago. Felt a bit wierd to be booking in to that same flight, although fantastic because I was not leaving Alan this time, he was right there beside me ! So.. the moment of truth.... climbing the steps to the plane - easy peasy and not purple by the time I got to the top...... walk down the aisle without my backside touching either set of seats beside me !!! Then I looked at the seat and though... ok.. here goes. Will I fit ?.... YES I DO. Plop.. in I went, into the seat with room to spare !! Then the belt, will I need an extension ?..... NOPE !!! There was lots of slack too ! hee hee !! Last challenge... the table. Will it or won't it... YES IT DOES !!! Oh how happy was I !? I even took a photo !
So then we got to the airport and then a taxi took us to Daventry and the car was sitting there looking great. It's a limited edition, they only made 500 of these beauties, so we were happy with it and the price too ! We did the paperwork, got in and drove off. We were close to Leamington, so we went via my old house to see what it was looking like now. They have built on a brick carport and porch. I am guessing they added a downstairs toilet there too. It was looking nice, but I still don't miss that stair bulkhead !! It was so low you'd bang your head on it every time you came down the stairs ! Then we took a ride over to see Eileen and John. She was absolutely stunned to see me and I was over the moon to see her too ! She said I was looking fantastic and she could not believe who was standing in front of her ! She and John are both looking great too, and it was a real tonic to see them both. We then left and drive through the pouring rain to the port of Holyhead in North Wales. It was not raining so bad in Wales and I got to drive a little way there. We got the HSS fast ferry across to Dublin and even that was a treat for us.... no kids to chase about the boat, to entertain, keep safe, and amused. We wandered about the boat hand in hand, and sat and had a cup of coffee, and then finally cuddled up and fell asleep. It was lovely ! We were home for 9.15pm and we went and checked the kids while Frances drove home in her new Fiesta !
Al has spent the last few days loving that car, and getting it polished and shiney and the attention to detail would scare you ! We ordered a hard top for it which came the day before we got the car. The courier company, parcelforce, got a bit heavy handed with it and managed to break the corner but because it's fibre glass resin, it is not covered on their insurance cover, so we have had to fix it ourselves. We got a fibre glass kit though and it is sorted now, and Darren is going to spray it silver for us so it matches the car in the winter. Al put new tyres on the back yesterday too, and got the front ones balanced, so it's all going well and feeling solid again. He is so happy to have this car and I am so happy that we have one again too. For all the reasons we made to get ride of the 135 that we had before, the main reason we sold it was that I was too fat to drive it. I was unable to get the seat belt around me as well as bring the seat forward so I could reach the peddles, so I was for ever crunching the gears. It was hard on the suspension too because it had been lowered, and was not the most comfortable of rides, and then I was pregnant with Michael, so it became impractical for us in the long run. He never once blamed me though, or accused me of being a fat lardy arsed girl, and that shows what a lovely bloke he is. He never made out that he minded that much, but deep down he must have. I feel so much better now though, that he has another MGTF because puts things right in my mind. I can put the belt around me and move the seat forward, and enjoy the drive as much as him now and WOW, what a car it is !! A flying machine ! A funny thing that I noticed when we were coming home though..... I thought I was sitting on my coat funny or that something was wrinkled under my bum because there was something poking into me. I felt down, and you know what.. it was not a clothing item poking into me at all... it was my coccyx ( tail bone) of my spine !! I had padding there before and it's gone now ! My bum was sore !
This last stone has been mighty difficult to shift. I was 13stone 12 for a fortnight, and then 13 stone 9 for another fortnight, and then 13 st 5 ( so I thought it was shifting again.... pah) then 13 stone 9 again ( WHAT? It went up ?!!!!) and then 13st 5 and then 13 st 3, and today I am 13 st 1lb. Tomorrow is officially my weigh day but I am working tonight, and I find that if I work, I tend to weigh heavier than I would first thing after waking up. I will weigh myself again on Thursday and see what I am, and probably put that weight in for this week. Here's hoping it's 13 stone nothing, or even 12 stone something !! 12stone anything will be incredible ! I need to be 12 stone 10 to be eligible for my plastics, so the sooner I get those few lbs off the better. I would need to be 11 stone by the time I get my plastics in an ideal world. I am guessing that I have 7lbs of skin to have removed, so that will take me to a 'normal' BMI of 25 at 10 stone 7lbs. How wonderful will that be !?! I can't imagine ! My friend Jayne had her tummy tuck this weekend just gone and is home already. I am thrilled for her to have had this, she's been waiting for such a long time poor thing. I can understand totally if she is peeved at me for getting my plastics so relatively soon but it's not like I went out there asking for it to be sooner. They called me !! Even now though, I am not 100% convinced I am going to get my plastics on the NHS without a longer wait, but hey ho, let's keep things crossed that I will get it done by christmas. She only went on Friday I think and had the surgery on saturday and was home on monday. That's fast !! I can cope with a couple of nights away from the kids and Al, as long as it's not 8 days like it was in Brugge. That really emotionally killed me, although the results were worth it !
Rachel and Aidan are about to finish their school year and they have had a good year really. Aidan's teacher has gone off on the sick for the rest of the school year, but his P2 teacher is just back from her sick leave/maternity leave, so she has been teaching the P1's for these last few weeks and getting to know them and will follow them into P2 next september. Whether we will still be living here by then I don't know. The house is still on the market but we cannot find anything else that we love as much as the Ballyhornan house. I really was in love with that place and even though it is still on the website and showing as for sale, I have my doubts it's going to still be there when we finally get any offers on this place. Then I am thinking 'is it worth the hassle of moving?' since the kids are settled and happy and we seem to be managing ok at the moment with the mortgage, and can remortgage next february and get the cost down a bit. I just don't know what to do for the best. Time will tell I guess. Just leave it on the market and see what happens.
Michael just turned 2 last sunday and is a wee angel. We could not have asked for a better baby boy. He's a delight to look after, so laid back and happy ! I cannot believe that this time next year I will be getting him ready to go to nursery school !! Where is my baby !? He's not a baby any more ! lol ! When he goes to school, I will not know what to do with my time ! I will have a peaceful house and no kiddies under my feet, so I will be able to go and visit and do the shopping without any prams or nappies ! It is going to feel wierd. I hope I adjust ok. It's not like I want any more babies anyway, but I am just so used to there always being one here when the others are at school ! It might be very liberating !
This blog is getting long, but I wanted to fill you in on how things were going on in my life. I am a busy chick really ! I am working on 6C at the Royal Victoria Hospital which is an upper GI surgery ward. I really like being in the same place all the time and being a member of the team. It's very educational for me too because surgery is not really my thing, but I am loving this. Surgical patients are far more independent than medical ones !! lol
That's enough typing for now. I will try and post a blog again soon... but don't hold your breath, you should know me by now !!
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