Thursday 19th July, 2007

We have just got home after a week at Center parcs ( yes, it's spelt that way !) and we had a good time. What a difference a year has made in my life ! We were at Center Parcs last year and although we went swimming each day, we didn't really do anything else that was remotely sporty because I was limited by my weight. This year though.... we walked miles every day, swam, played tennis, and I went horse riding !! Me... on a horse !!! YES !!!
My horse was called Nigel, and it did not keel over and die when I sat on it, nor did it's knees buckle beneath him ! We had a slow ride which was lovely, and I really enjoyed myself. I am so proud that I achieved this little goal - I never could have imagined it this time last year !

So, now we are back I am getting my head around the fact that I have surgery looming in 3 1/2 months time. I desparately want to get at least another stone off AT LEAST, but it's slow going. I measured myself this morning to see if my lack of lb loss was compensated with inch loss instead, but apart from losing another inch on my boobs ( I really cannot spare anymore there !!) things have not changed. I am a little disgruntled about it really, because with that much exercise I really thought I would have shed some weight. I set up the 5th bedroom yesterday as a gym. I have a sit up thing, the turbo trainer on my bike, and my cross trainer. I then set about having a workout that had me sweating like a pig and my legs are still jelly today. I have not lost any weight at all ! aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mum and Dad are back from their cruise on saturday, and then have a week or so until they leave for their surgery in Brugge. I am apprehensive for them of course, but also very excited about the health benefits it will afford them both in the future. I know they will be in safe hands with Dr Dillemans and that he will do a good job on them, but knowing they are both away in a foreign country having surgery at the same time worries me. I kind of wish I could be there but it's impossible. I have to be here to work and for the kids. They will be ok. I will just not settle until they are done and home !!

I am wearing size 16 jeans which are loose on me. I love the feeling of my bones that are no longer buried in fat. It's wonderful ! My neck has turned scraggy again, but I keep appying the moisturiser and see what happens. When I lie down, my ribs stick out but my boobs are seriously sad. Al was poking them last night and saying how wierd ( in a good way) it will be to see my boobs pointing upwards, and to have a flat tummy. Part of me can't wait, but the other part of me is dreading being away from Al and the kids again, and having a painful operation. I keep telling myself that it is only one day when the operation happens... and then that is it over and done with. I seriously hope it is !