Sunday October 7th 2007

So here I am just 3 weeks away from my trip to Brussels to meet the famous Patrick Dedoncker ! I have to tell you, I am bricking it ! I have started to pack my case, and I have got the Euro sorted to hand to the man himself on the Tuesday morning. I might have to sew that into my knickers until I hand it to him !! It's a lot of cash to be carrying about but that was the only way he does it. I guess he has got stung before by rubber cheques and promises of payment which never came. This way he knows he has been paid and if he gets paid up front with a smile from me, hopefully he will do an even better job than ever ! lol. I trust the guy. I know he has a superb reputation, especially on the WLS forum and is well used to operating on us more vascular girls who have lost a lot of weight.

Today I am 11 stone 2. I have lost 3lbs this week so far. I want to be 11 stone ( at least) before I go to Brussels and it should be achievable. Even if I don't lose the 2lbs I don't care to be honest. It's only 2lbs !! My ideal weight should be 10 stone 10 so in reality I am only 6lbs off target - less than half a stone - so now is a really good time to have these plastics done. I am so glad I don't have to wait another 6 months or year before getting my body fixed. I know lots of people have to wait because of NHS funding criteria, and they say that they are 'glad to wait' but I think this has to be a front to cover their frustrations. I have been frustrated with my body for the last 3-4 months with saggy skin really looking so horrid. You have this weight loss surgery thinking that you are going to finally get the body beautiful but the reality is you go from a fat person to a seriously saggy person and there's very little you can do about it but have it cut off, or live with it ! I know I swore when I had my RNY that whatever happened to my skin there was no way I would ever have surgery again.... but here I am .... the reality staring me in the face, I am going back for more surgery ! I was even looking at my legs when I was in the swimming pool the other day and thinking.. OMG look at those thighs. I had wings of flesh hanging off my legs and they were flapping about in the water. Soooooo ugly. I can't get more than the Tummy tuck and the boobs done in Brussels though... I think that will be enough, but who knows, maybe if my legs bother me that much post these plastics, I might have a chat to my GP and see if they would be done on the NHS. I don't know. It's not on my hit list right here right now. I will just see what happens. I might have a chat to Patrick Dedoncker and see what he thinks I might need on my legs, if anything. Ugh... no more surgery... enough is enough !!

I had my bloods taken this week but they didn't check everything they were supposed to, so I have to go back and open the vein again ! My levels were all fine apart from the haemoglobin which was 11.3 which is not that bad really. I have been feeling a little dizzy and faint of late though and my vit B12 might be low. I have been a little shakey at times too, which is more than likely to be a blood sugar related thing. I have to cut out sugars from my diet for the RNY, and even the taste of something really sweet turns me now, but I have to accept that I need a little sugar in my diet to stop my blood sugars from dropping like this. A few biscuits and a cup of Coffee with a half tea spoon of sugar in it and I am ok again. I attempted to have a bit of chocolate swiss roll with fresh cream in last night... one small spoonful of it and I was heaving... how mad is that. It looked so delicious too... probably was, but I could not even look at it sideways after tasting that small morsel !
If you are of a delicate nature, don't read this next paragraph. It's about poo.... ! I told my GP about the awful state of my bowels too, and that I had been taking 2-3 Senna every day without any success, Movicol - been there and tried that without success, and Bisacodyl does nothing for me either, so she prescribed me Laxoberol. I was sceptical, but the night before last I took a small swig of it before going to bed. Well.... yesterday morning I got the tummy gripes and cramps and was able to pass a constipated lump after a lot of pain, but then came the squits (or splotters as Rachel calls it !! Very apt name that !) . Just when I thought it was safe to stand up.. uh oh... and off I went again. I was scared to eat anything because I was going to the forum meeting in the afternoon and didn't want to disgrace myself, but last night after the tiniest bit of pizza... uh oh .. away I went again ! lol I can safely say though I am far from constipated !! I prefer it this way to be honest. I prefer feeling comfortable down there than bunged to the hilt and unable to go, even if I have to go through a white knuckle rollercoaster type ride to poo !

It's safe to look back now....

Tomorrow morning I will go and get the other bloods taken at the doctors and see what happens there. I am feeling pretty well to be honest. Everyone is telling me I look amazing, which does wonders for my ego ! Alan bought me a pair of grey boots and a long jumper dress thing with a belt and horizontal stripes this week and he thinks I look beautiful in it ! I asked him last night which bit of me was his favourite bit right now (lol) and he said he was torn between my backside and my waist, but if he had to pick then my waist. It really has shrunk especially in the last month, and he says he just loves my skinny tummy !! I love that man so much, he's been so supportive during this weight loss journey and notices lots of things about my changing shape that I don't !

I did my weight loss video and put it on You Tube this week too. I was inspired by Connies video ( see my website) which I saw last year when I was pre op. I could not believe the change in her and I had tears rolling down my cheeks watching it and thinking 'that could be me'. I swore that I would do my own video and now I have ! It's on my website too if you want to take a look. I was quite emotional doing it and getting it right. I wanted to show my story in pictures and music, and inspire others as much as I had been by Connie. The feedback I have had so far has been very positive and I am thrilled with it.