Tomorrow is exactly 3 months from my operation, although today is exactly 13 weeks. I have finally sneeked just below the 16 stone weight, to 15st 13 !! Who would have thought that I would have achieved so much weight loss in just 3 months. My target of 2 stone by christmas was blown away, and here I am 4 stone 8lbs lighter than I was on op day. I should be exctatic. I say 'should' because I am miffed that in the last few weeks it's really slowed down and I don't really know why. It's taken me 3 weeks to loose 8lbs, when I was used to losing this amount in 2 weeks max. I know, I know... don't shout at me. I know it's coming off, and I know I should be delighted with any weight loss, but I am losing faith in myself which is not good. I know my clothes are getting looser and I know that I am feeling better about my body shape, I just wish the scales would be my friend again and show the weight loss happening more readily.
I am constipated to the hilt though. It's terrible. I guess the weight it not coming off because I am bunged up.
Anyway.. I will keep this short today. Just wanted to update this, and have a little vent of my feelings.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Sunday 21st January, 2007
I have been a little peeved that in the last 2 weeks I have only lost 5lbs however, I am noticing my clothes getting a little looser, so I know that inch loss is happening. I jumped on the scales on wednesday last week and was gutted because I so wanted to get the 4 1/2 stone off by then... don't ask me why, I just did. I was 16st 2 and needed to loose another 2lbs. Anyway.. today I got on the scales ( don't shout at me for weighing myself mid week, I can't help myself) and today I registered 16 stone on the nose... that's the 4 1/2 stone !! I am excited by the prospect of being 15 stone something now, and hoping that in the next couple of weeks things pick up again and I lose more than 5lbs. I should not grumble should I ? 5lbs in 2 weeks is more than I could ever have hoped for at Weight Watchers !! 4 1/2 stone is more than I could ever ever have hoped for at Weight watchers, and I also know that I would never have lost this weight so quickly at any diet club. This RNY has given me a new outlook on what I am fueling my body with and what I put in my mouth. It's fantastic. I no longer crave food of any fashion. I don't feel hungry, and I don't have to eat much to feel full. I made dinner yesterday, with 2 guests at the table, Darren ( Al's mate) and Frances ( mother in law) and I made a chicken dish with white wine and cream homepride sauce mix. I slow cooked it so it was nice and tender and the sauce had a good opportunity to make the chicken nice and soft for me to swallow. I steamed baby potatoes and carrots, sprouts and broccoli which was nice too. I ate too much. I wish I hadn't, but I foolishly ate my veg first ( always have, probably always will) and then the spuds (daft, cos I should have had the chicken) and then realised that the protein was the chicken and I needed that more than the rest of it. I managed most of it. I then had a small ( and I really do mean tiny) portion of apple pie and ice cream but was not able to eat it. I suffered for the rest of the night and it wasn't til I really thought about it that I realised that sprouts are not my friend !!
I took a windeeze tablet when I realised that I had trapped wind, and then let it do it's thing. Those tablets, for any RNYer out there, are a great thing to keep in your medicine cabinet just in case. They really worked for me last night.
My problem this week has been constipation. It's been really rough this week. I managed to shift some but today I am having real trouble getting comfortable. I sit on the loo and nothing happens, no matter how much I wish it would. I have been taking laxatives all week too but clearly they are not helping.
Frances said something to me last night at Bingo though... we were chatting away and I was talking about my 5lb weight loss and how peeved I was, and she said that it was bound to slow down now. I said, no, not at all, I will be in a size 14 by April when we go to see my parents. She laughed and said that IF I get into a size 14 then she will go and get one of these in her too ( referring to the operation which clearly she has been squalking to her daughter about and being advised that I have had a band when I really have not !). I said that I want to be a size 14 by April, but eventually I will be a size 10-12, and then I will have my tummy tuck and boob job. I still think she was under the impression I was joking... ah well !! It just served to reiterate in my mind that her thought process was 'As long as I am not as fat as Marika then I am fine' whereas I am actually already in smaller clothes than her.
Didn't win at the Bingo either !!
I took a windeeze tablet when I realised that I had trapped wind, and then let it do it's thing. Those tablets, for any RNYer out there, are a great thing to keep in your medicine cabinet just in case. They really worked for me last night.
My problem this week has been constipation. It's been really rough this week. I managed to shift some but today I am having real trouble getting comfortable. I sit on the loo and nothing happens, no matter how much I wish it would. I have been taking laxatives all week too but clearly they are not helping.
Frances said something to me last night at Bingo though... we were chatting away and I was talking about my 5lb weight loss and how peeved I was, and she said that it was bound to slow down now. I said, no, not at all, I will be in a size 14 by April when we go to see my parents. She laughed and said that IF I get into a size 14 then she will go and get one of these in her too ( referring to the operation which clearly she has been squalking to her daughter about and being advised that I have had a band when I really have not !). I said that I want to be a size 14 by April, but eventually I will be a size 10-12, and then I will have my tummy tuck and boob job. I still think she was under the impression I was joking... ah well !! It just served to reiterate in my mind that her thought process was 'As long as I am not as fat as Marika then I am fine' whereas I am actually already in smaller clothes than her.
Didn't win at the Bingo either !!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Tuesday 16th January 2007
It's been an interesting week. I have been talking a lot to my parents about their own weight loss surgery, if it is viable and if it's something that they would be able to adapt to afterwards if they went through with it. It's not the easiest thing in the world to cope with, changing habits of a lifetime to achieve weight loss. I have drafted an email for Dr Dillemans though, on their behalf and I will send it when they send me their medical notes and I can see first hand exactly what is what. Dad is also getting approval from his cardiologist before we proceed so all in all, it's quite exciting for them.
They have been to their GP to get her seal of approval and she is happy enough for them to go ahead, so that is another positive step in the right direction. They told me the GP asked about my excess skin once I have lost all my weight, to which they didn't really have an answer I don't think. They asked me about it later on the phone and I told them that I have been referred for Plastic surgery but the waiting list is about 4 years to even get a consultation. Dad said that when the time comes that I need plastics, then they would fund it for me. WOW !! This is amazing news. I am bowled over ! I can finally dream of a reality that is going to be a flat stomach and pert boobs !! I know my tummy is going to need work, there is no two ways about that, and I suspect my boobs will be heading south since they already are, but the rest of me will be ok. I just want to be able to wear nice trousers without a big bulge in the way. Wear nice bra's without my floppy skin hanging out over the edges, and to not be ashamed of my body. I am even more determined to get this weight off as soon as I can now. I want the 10 stone off by October and then to maintain til after Christmas and then I can book my plastics for this time next year. Possibly sooner, I don't know. It depends on this weight shifting. I am so close to being half way there already !! 4 stone 5lbs today, although I haven't really lost much this week.
My other problem is constipation. OMG !! I know I don't eat much so there is not much to come out the other end, but I haven't been for what feels like days, and I really need to !! I have been taking Bisacodyl every day, but clearly it's not working for me.
I am sitting here in a pair of lovely size 20 trousers, brown and quite dressy, with a brown jumper and a brown poncho over the top. I think I look great today !! It's so nice to be able to get up and get dressed in clothes that make me feel so great. I can do up my size 20 jeans too, but zipping them up would be a challenge. I am happy enough in my 22's for now, and I will wait for another couple of weeks to get the 20's on comfortably. There is no point being squeezed into clothes just for the sake of saying you are a size smaller. They generally look terrible when people do that, like they have been painted on, which just makes you look ridiculous.
Aidan is off school today and yesterday with Scarlet Fever. He is much improved since he started the antibiotics thankfully, but he had me really worried the other night. I had to cancel my shift to stay home and look after him. It would not have been a good idea to have incubated scarlet fever and taken it to hospital with me either though !!
I am feeling really restricted with my eating today. Even a cup of tea was hard work to swallow comfortably this morning. It goes like this some days. It's all part of the learning curve I guess.
I have just finished reading Carnie Wilson's 'I'm still hungry' book about her gastric bypass and how she got her brain around her weight loss too. It was a good read, and she is funny and entertaining, but I could not help but think, 'I wish you'd think for yourself. You go running off to your family, your friends, and most annoyingly, your therapist, before you will make a decision. It's madness !!' It's a very american book, but I enjoyed it, and I could relate to a lot of it too, so I am pleased I read it. I am about to get stuck into her first book, Gut Feeling, which leads up to her bypass, and the desicion to have it.
They have been to their GP to get her seal of approval and she is happy enough for them to go ahead, so that is another positive step in the right direction. They told me the GP asked about my excess skin once I have lost all my weight, to which they didn't really have an answer I don't think. They asked me about it later on the phone and I told them that I have been referred for Plastic surgery but the waiting list is about 4 years to even get a consultation. Dad said that when the time comes that I need plastics, then they would fund it for me. WOW !! This is amazing news. I am bowled over ! I can finally dream of a reality that is going to be a flat stomach and pert boobs !! I know my tummy is going to need work, there is no two ways about that, and I suspect my boobs will be heading south since they already are, but the rest of me will be ok. I just want to be able to wear nice trousers without a big bulge in the way. Wear nice bra's without my floppy skin hanging out over the edges, and to not be ashamed of my body. I am even more determined to get this weight off as soon as I can now. I want the 10 stone off by October and then to maintain til after Christmas and then I can book my plastics for this time next year. Possibly sooner, I don't know. It depends on this weight shifting. I am so close to being half way there already !! 4 stone 5lbs today, although I haven't really lost much this week.
My other problem is constipation. OMG !! I know I don't eat much so there is not much to come out the other end, but I haven't been for what feels like days, and I really need to !! I have been taking Bisacodyl every day, but clearly it's not working for me.
I am sitting here in a pair of lovely size 20 trousers, brown and quite dressy, with a brown jumper and a brown poncho over the top. I think I look great today !! It's so nice to be able to get up and get dressed in clothes that make me feel so great. I can do up my size 20 jeans too, but zipping them up would be a challenge. I am happy enough in my 22's for now, and I will wait for another couple of weeks to get the 20's on comfortably. There is no point being squeezed into clothes just for the sake of saying you are a size smaller. They generally look terrible when people do that, like they have been painted on, which just makes you look ridiculous.
Aidan is off school today and yesterday with Scarlet Fever. He is much improved since he started the antibiotics thankfully, but he had me really worried the other night. I had to cancel my shift to stay home and look after him. It would not have been a good idea to have incubated scarlet fever and taken it to hospital with me either though !!
I am feeling really restricted with my eating today. Even a cup of tea was hard work to swallow comfortably this morning. It goes like this some days. It's all part of the learning curve I guess.
I have just finished reading Carnie Wilson's 'I'm still hungry' book about her gastric bypass and how she got her brain around her weight loss too. It was a good read, and she is funny and entertaining, but I could not help but think, 'I wish you'd think for yourself. You go running off to your family, your friends, and most annoyingly, your therapist, before you will make a decision. It's madness !!' It's a very american book, but I enjoyed it, and I could relate to a lot of it too, so I am pleased I read it. I am about to get stuck into her first book, Gut Feeling, which leads up to her bypass, and the desicion to have it.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Tuesday 3rd January, 2007
So, here we are, another year and I am feeling guilty for not posting here for ages. To all who might be reading this, Happy New Year. I hope that you have a great one and that you achieve or get all that you wish for yourself in the coming year.
I set myself a target pre op that I would be over the moon if I had lost 2 stone by christmas. In fact I had lost 3 1/2 stone, and am now just 1lb shy of 4 stone weight loss since my op ! I am bowled over by this achievement, especially since it really has not been that hard to achieve !
I don't get hungry, and I really have very little appetite at all which makes it easier to deal with my RNY. I have been neglecting my exercises which kind of went on hold over the Christmas season. I went on the cross trainer today though !!
Had an interesting Christmas and New Year. Mother in Law was with us and I have no idea what is going on with her, but she was getting pretty catty with me, and I don't know why. She wanted to take over the Christmas dinner, which was NOT alright by me this year ! The last time she spent Christmas with us, I was pregnant with Michael and was feeling so ill that I could not look at the raw turkey sideways without heaving ! I was grateful for her being here then, but this time I was healthy and well, and ready to make a feast for us all, even if I was not going to be able to eat much of it !
She did the stuffing with the kids, which has become a little ritual and they love it. She stuffed the turkey on Christmas Eve, which was fine too. She had the turkey in the oven before I even knew it on Christmas day though, and then clapped her hands together and said that she would get the ham going. I said that the ham was an expensive ready prepared one, and it just needed to go in the oven for the last 1 3/4 hours. 'Oh, I have never had one like that' she said kind of down her nose at me ! Then I went to peel the veg and she was already there doing the potatoes and sprouts, leaving me the carrots but only because I had hold of them and I was not going to let to take them off me !
I was trying to split my time between the kids and the dinner, so I intended to get the roast potatoes par boiling at 12.30 and then into the oven for the last hour of the turkey cooking time. I thought MIL had gone to the loo but she came back into the room and said she had put the ham and roasties in already. I said ' When did you par boil them?' ' Oh, I don't par boil mine, I just put them straight in, why, do you?' ' Yes, I do' so I went and pulled them out of the oven and par boiled them. She came in behind me and started poking things about on the cooker and making sarcey comments about my cheese sauce, making out it was burnt when it flippin wasn't ! She said she had never made cheese sauce before. She said she was going to do something else too, but I had to say to her quite strongly that I could manage thank you very much !!
Her presents to me... 3 new saucepans - yes, I needed some, but they are gifts for the house not for me !! My second gift was some sewing scissors which was handy, and a handbag, which she got as a freebie back last february. She bought something from fashion world and it was the incentive thing... the handbag. She got sent 2 because she bought something off JD williams too. She gave me one of the handbags back in february, and has clearly forgotten because now I have 2, neither of which did she have to actually buy. There was a mystery gift under the tree which was cylindricle and squishy, and I left it til the last one. I opened it late afternoon and what was it... what could it be... 10 dishcloths. OMG. She bought me dishcloths. Words escape me. I went to a lot of trouble to get her stuff that she would like and find useful and we personal to her, but this was just plain bitchy. She invited us to dinner on the wednesday after christmas, having seen me only eat a sliver of ham and struggle with it on christmas day, she served up ham. Her ham... cooked the way SHE likes it ! Al said that mine was much nicer !! Love him ! She then handed him a present... a cardigan, zip up thing, with pockets and cable knitting, and suede shoulders !! It was totally hideous ! He was not impressed and said that it looked like it was for an old guy. She said no no... and older look would not have suede on the shoulders. Holy cow.. she has no idea !! She handed me some toiletries, making no secret that she won it at bingo. In fact the toiletries are quite nice.. sea salt scrub and mits, not so sure about the shower cap !! I took Al's cardy back to BHS with it's labels intact and exchanged it for a nice new size 20 chemise and a pair of jeans for me !! So, She did buy me something nice for Chistmas little did she know it !! lol
New years eve I worked 4c fractures at the Royal. The chimes were about to ring out and we were still busy, but we were able to stop and toast each other with a half cup of shloer. There was no time to explain that I could not have any. I didn't want to offend anyone, so I took a small sip, but within 3 mins I was dumping ! I did not feel sick with it but I was feeling faint, and I was clammy with palpitations. Not a great feeling !! It passed within about 30 mins, but then I needed to explain to the other staff why I had reacted. They were all very interested and supportive of what have had done. I hope this time next year there is money in the bank to allow me not to have to work either Christmas or New year. I missed Al so much.
Anyway.. I have to go and sort the kids out now, get them bathed and into bed. Al is back to work today and I miss him being here to share the kiddie care.
I set myself a target pre op that I would be over the moon if I had lost 2 stone by christmas. In fact I had lost 3 1/2 stone, and am now just 1lb shy of 4 stone weight loss since my op ! I am bowled over by this achievement, especially since it really has not been that hard to achieve !
I don't get hungry, and I really have very little appetite at all which makes it easier to deal with my RNY. I have been neglecting my exercises which kind of went on hold over the Christmas season. I went on the cross trainer today though !!
Had an interesting Christmas and New Year. Mother in Law was with us and I have no idea what is going on with her, but she was getting pretty catty with me, and I don't know why. She wanted to take over the Christmas dinner, which was NOT alright by me this year ! The last time she spent Christmas with us, I was pregnant with Michael and was feeling so ill that I could not look at the raw turkey sideways without heaving ! I was grateful for her being here then, but this time I was healthy and well, and ready to make a feast for us all, even if I was not going to be able to eat much of it !
She did the stuffing with the kids, which has become a little ritual and they love it. She stuffed the turkey on Christmas Eve, which was fine too. She had the turkey in the oven before I even knew it on Christmas day though, and then clapped her hands together and said that she would get the ham going. I said that the ham was an expensive ready prepared one, and it just needed to go in the oven for the last 1 3/4 hours. 'Oh, I have never had one like that' she said kind of down her nose at me ! Then I went to peel the veg and she was already there doing the potatoes and sprouts, leaving me the carrots but only because I had hold of them and I was not going to let to take them off me !
I was trying to split my time between the kids and the dinner, so I intended to get the roast potatoes par boiling at 12.30 and then into the oven for the last hour of the turkey cooking time. I thought MIL had gone to the loo but she came back into the room and said she had put the ham and roasties in already. I said ' When did you par boil them?' ' Oh, I don't par boil mine, I just put them straight in, why, do you?' ' Yes, I do' so I went and pulled them out of the oven and par boiled them. She came in behind me and started poking things about on the cooker and making sarcey comments about my cheese sauce, making out it was burnt when it flippin wasn't ! She said she had never made cheese sauce before. She said she was going to do something else too, but I had to say to her quite strongly that I could manage thank you very much !!
Her presents to me... 3 new saucepans - yes, I needed some, but they are gifts for the house not for me !! My second gift was some sewing scissors which was handy, and a handbag, which she got as a freebie back last february. She bought something from fashion world and it was the incentive thing... the handbag. She got sent 2 because she bought something off JD williams too. She gave me one of the handbags back in february, and has clearly forgotten because now I have 2, neither of which did she have to actually buy. There was a mystery gift under the tree which was cylindricle and squishy, and I left it til the last one. I opened it late afternoon and what was it... what could it be... 10 dishcloths. OMG. She bought me dishcloths. Words escape me. I went to a lot of trouble to get her stuff that she would like and find useful and we personal to her, but this was just plain bitchy. She invited us to dinner on the wednesday after christmas, having seen me only eat a sliver of ham and struggle with it on christmas day, she served up ham. Her ham... cooked the way SHE likes it ! Al said that mine was much nicer !! Love him ! She then handed him a present... a cardigan, zip up thing, with pockets and cable knitting, and suede shoulders !! It was totally hideous ! He was not impressed and said that it looked like it was for an old guy. She said no no... and older look would not have suede on the shoulders. Holy cow.. she has no idea !! She handed me some toiletries, making no secret that she won it at bingo. In fact the toiletries are quite nice.. sea salt scrub and mits, not so sure about the shower cap !! I took Al's cardy back to BHS with it's labels intact and exchanged it for a nice new size 20 chemise and a pair of jeans for me !! So, She did buy me something nice for Chistmas little did she know it !! lol
New years eve I worked 4c fractures at the Royal. The chimes were about to ring out and we were still busy, but we were able to stop and toast each other with a half cup of shloer. There was no time to explain that I could not have any. I didn't want to offend anyone, so I took a small sip, but within 3 mins I was dumping ! I did not feel sick with it but I was feeling faint, and I was clammy with palpitations. Not a great feeling !! It passed within about 30 mins, but then I needed to explain to the other staff why I had reacted. They were all very interested and supportive of what have had done. I hope this time next year there is money in the bank to allow me not to have to work either Christmas or New year. I missed Al so much.
Anyway.. I have to go and sort the kids out now, get them bathed and into bed. Al is back to work today and I miss him being here to share the kiddie care.
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