Friday 19th September 2008

Ok, so please don't shout at me for not writing this sooner. So much has happened in the last couple of months and I really have not had a chance to scratch an itch let alone sit here and type my memoirs ! So here I am now...
We have now finally moved house ! Hooray we all collectively shout ! We still own our house in Northern Ireland and we are hoping to complete soon but with this darn credit crunch everything is on a go slow for our buyer getting his small mortgage. It will happen soon but not soon enough for us !! Anyway, we are here in Cambridgeshire now and settling in to our new lives here, new schools, new jobs. I have been working at a local Nursing home for a couple of nights a week and Alan has been driving for a local recruitment agency doing all sorts of odd hours. The kids are going to a school which is within walking distance and so I am delighted that I get to walk them to and from school each day - It's funny really, I used to do a lot of walking when I had take the kids to school in NI. I used to take Michael in his pram around the town and I have missed that. I know it's not a million miles to this school but it's really nice to get out walking again. When I am having a 'fat day' - (days where I know I have eaten things that I should not have eaten and my muffin belly top is feeling a little bloated) I walk a little harder and a little faster and have a little work out there and back. I guess because I am walking both ways twice a day it comes to just over a mile a day. Ok, it's not far but every little helps !
The twiggy show was fun. The camera crew came over to the house in NI and filmed me talking through my clothes in my wardrobe. I tried not to be nervous about it, and talk to the person behind the camera rather than this big shiney lens in my face ! I talked through my clothes and it was interesting for me to analyse perhaps why I had bought a particular item of clothing - my catsuit for instance - I have yet to wear it but I love the fact that I have it in my wardrobe waiting for the right moment ! It's an item of clothing that I could never ever have worn before my weight loss, or even my plastics so it's a celebration of my weight loss journey to have something so skimpy and lovely in there ! Then there were jumpers which probably swamp me but I love them because they are like a security blanket to me. I held up my huge old jeans size 30-32... ugh..... and they laughed at the size of them. I said laughing aside though that I would never wish to part with these jeans because I never want to forget what it felt like to be that size. It was not that long ago that I was wearing those jeans without the need for a belt, and they were tight. If I forget what it was like to be that size then I can't do my job right. I want to be able to empathise with people about their size and show them that I totally understand what it's like to feel like an outcast, judged for their size not the human being they are, humiliated in the street when a nasty comment is shouted at you.... i remember it all because I was that person on the receiving end of it. If I got rid of those jeans though I might forget and that would be a bad thing. They are a symbol. I did allow them to take one pair of my jeans though and believe it or not they turned them into a little miniskirt for some skinny girl on the show !
Kelly and I travelled over to London for the filming and it was an interesting day to say the least. We stayed in a local travel lodge type hotel just along the Kings Road in Hammersmith. There were 5 other ladies being filmed like me for the show and with our mates with us we all met up at the studio at about 9ish. I was taken to the wardrobe room and blindfolded so they could try my outfit on me without letting me see what I was wearing ! I was not expecting a dress at all. I was also put in massive high heels too and I am amazed I did not break my neck ! They took me into the studio before the others too and interviewed me about my weight loss and about my clothes. They held up the size 30-32 jeans before taking them off to be made into the miniskirt ! They allowed me to have my leather jacket back though. I had put this much loved jacket in for swapping because it really was too big on me. I loved it though because it was so different to other jackets. They surprised me by saying that it was not going to be swapped, it was going to be tailored to fit me again. So there I was in this surreal world with bright lights and gorgous clothes around me, minor celebrities talking to me, and about 5 cameras pointing at me, and I was thinking... OMG is this really happening? Me? No, it can't be. Very very wierd feeling.
They took me off to hair and makeup later on and they did an incredible job on me. I loved every moment and asked them if they would like to move in with me !I could happily have them both do my hair and makeup on a daily basis and make me look like they did that day. I was taken off to wardrobe again and this is where I was allowed to see the dress. OK, I would not have picked it myself to be honest. Alan was not impressed either, because I have this fantastic chest now and it was not on display ! That aside though, with the makeup and the hair, and the attention I was getting, I felt like a zillion dollars and I loved it. I had to be interviewed again by Lauren Levern and she was full of complements for the new look. I then had to do the 'reveal' where each of us had to walk out from behind these screens and go and waggle our tooshies infront of the camera. It was again most bizarre, but I honestly didn't care by then. I really had enjoyed the day and I felt good and that was all that mattered. I welled up when they let me see myself in the mirror. I could not have pictured myself looking like that 2 years ago, and now here I was standing there about to go on TV like this model. It was a very moving moment for me. I managed to grab a few items of clothing too which were part of my swap so I was happy with that too. I did pass Twiggy in the corridor but she never spoke to me, but was I gutted.. you have got to be kidding ! She's not all that ! I was interviewed for the radio times too, and photographed.... I dread to think how that will turn out. Wish they had taken my photo after the makeover !!
The magazine article came out too and I was not that impressed with it to be honest. It portrayed my parents in a bad light as far as I could tell, and the title on the front that said I had surgery to stop me looking like my mother made me so annoyed. I never said that, and never would. Gladly they both knew that this was the magazines artistic licence but all the same, it was not something I wished to brag about being in.
So now we are here in Cambridgeshire I have started working for a company called International Healthcare who are a Danish company who are sending patients to Bruno. I am flying over to Belgium next saturday to meet with him for the day. That is going to be a busy day. I hate driving any distance at the best of times, but driving during the night is going to be rough. I am determined to do it though, the plane cost too much for me to miss it ! I have to go to Gatwick because the Eurostar is not taking bookings at the moment after their fire in the tunnel last week. What a pain ! I shall wear a nice suit though and do my best to impress ! I really want this job to work for us so we can buy this house based on the salary I shall be bringing in.
So that is us pretty much up to date. Working hard, not sleeping very much.... but I do feel we are in the right place and that exciting times are ahead of us.